Sex, Gender, Gender Identity and Expression, Emotional/Sexual Attraction: How it all blends in together.

Adapted from the activity ‘The Genderbread person’ created by Sam Killermann as part of the ‘the Safe Zone Project’ curriculum: https://thesafezoneproject.com/activities/genderbread-person/

Duration of activity: 45 min

Learning objectives:

Help young people understand the difference between biological sex, gender identity, gender expression, and attraction, as well as the difference between gender and sexuality.
Encourage an understanding of the diversity with regards to sex characteristics, gender, gender identity/expression and sexual orientation.
Challenge the binary models of interpretation of biological sex, gender and sexual orientation.

Materials needed:

Whiteboard or flipchart stand and paper
Markers
Handouts of the outline of a person for young people
Pens/pencils

Recommended prior reading

Step by step process of the activity: (35-40 minutes)

Suggested Introduction: We often hear words like gender identity, gender expression, sex characteristics, sexual orientation and LGBTIQ+ but we may be unsure of what exactly they mean and how they relate to each other
This graphic (the pic of the skeleton or the figurine) will help us better understand what we mean when we talk about these concepts. This graphic is meant to accurately depict the complexity of how these concepts show up in our society; it is not a depiction of what dream society could be.
Start by pointing to the brain, where the word “Identity” is written. Gender identity is who we, in our heads, know ourselves to be and how we define our own definition of gender for ourselves. Gender identity also has to do with how much we align (or don’t align) with the options of gender available in society (i.e. masculine and feminine).
Below the brain, pointing to the heart, there is “Attraction.” Attraction is the different ways we feel ‘pulled’ or ‘drawn’ to other people, often categorized based on our gender and the gender of those we feel drawn to. This categorization is referred to as sexual orientation. A man attracted to a woman is heterosexual and vice versa, a person attracted to the same gender is homosexual, a person attracted to two genders is bisexual, a person who is attracted only romantically but not sexually to others is asexual etc.
Towards the middle of the skeleton there is “Sex.” Here, this refers to anatomical sex, i.e. the physical makeup of our bodies, and specifically all the body parts we’ve named as sex characteristics — both the primary traits we’re born with (sex chromosomes, hormones, internal and external genitals) and the secondary that we might develop later in life (body figure, pelvis width, shoulders’ width, breast and muscle development, hair and fat distribution in the body and voice).
On the left we have a line pointing to the entire diagram. This represents “Expression.” Gender expression is all the different ways we present ourselves through our actions, our clothing, accessories, style, mannerisms and our demeanour, and the gendered ways those presentations are socially interpreted.
We now want to look at these categories more closely. Let’s start with biological sex. Ask participants:
- What do you understand when you hear the term biological sex?
- What determines our biological sex?
- Do you think all people are born 100% male or 100% female?
Using the definitions of intersex and sex characteristics, explain that some people are born with a diversity of sex characteristics and they are called intersex. Explain that the biological sex is a spectrum, with different degrees/diversity of sex characteristics.
Moving on to our gender identity. Ask participants:
- What defines our gender identity? (social roles, gender norms, gendered perceptions on personality traits, social expectations etc.). Can you think of a few examples?
- The binary model splits genders into feminine and masculine (‘man-ness’ and ‘female-ness’). Do you think all people born with vaginas have the same gender identity and express ‘female-ness’ in the same way? And do all people born with penises have the same gender identity and express ‘man-ness’ in the same way? Is ‘female-ness’ always expressed in terms of being sensitive, kind, nurturing and taking care of one’s appearance? Is ‘man-ness’ always expressed along the lines of being tough, muscular, leaders, adventurous?
- Do you think there are different degrees of ‘man-ness’ and ‘woman-ness’ with which someone might identify?
- Who defines our gender identity? Is it society or is it ourselves?
- Are there people who may not identify as men or women or in any degree of woman-ness or man-ness? Can you provide a few examples?
Using the definitions provided in the theoretical section explain that gender identity is a spectrum. Gender identity is also self-determined by each person for themselves according to a person’s own sense of self. There are varying degrees someone might embody gender identity, as opposed to the sex a person is assigned at birth. Here explain about nonbinary, queer, cis-gender and trans.
A concept related to gender identity is gender expression. With gender expression, people often think of hair styles, grooming, make-up, clothing, nonverbal mannerisms, and other things we see on the outside. Again the binary way people generally use to describe the different ways our expressions show up are “Femininity” and “Masculinity”. Ask participants:
- Do you think people express the same degree of femininity and masculinity? For instance, do all people who identify as women express the same degree of femininity? Do all people who identify as men express the same degree of masculinity? Can you think of a few examples? Can women express a certain degree of masculinity? And men a certain degree of femininity? Can people who don’t identify as men or women express femininity and/or masculinity?
- Are there people who do not express masculinity or femininity? Can they express something different?
- Masculinity and femininity are social constructs. What do you think that means?
- Since masculinity and femininity are social constructs, do you think it is possible that we can change our perceptions with regards to what these concepts mean?
- Why is it important to understand gender identity and gender expression in different ways than the binary?
Now let’s move on to sexual orientation. People experience attraction (or don’t) in a lot of different ways. Two common ways people describe the attraction they may or may not be experiencing is as “sexual” and “romantic.” You can think of sexual attraction as the drive to engage in physically intimate behaviours like touching, kissing, or intercourse, and romantic attraction as the drive to engage in socially intimate behaviours like flirting or dating. Some people experience both, some only one, and some neither. And within those experiences of attraction, we often focus on the gender of others that we are attracted to. Ask participants:
- What sexual orientations are you aware of?
- If not mentioned probe for asexual, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual etc. and explain what the terms mean.
Again explain that sexual orientation is a spectrum and a person can identify themselves anywhere on the spectrum, drawn to any type of gender identity and gender expression.
Now that you have explored the different concepts, do you think sex, gender identity and gender expression are the same thing? Can you explain why/why not?
How about gender and sexual orientation? Are they the same or not? Can you explain with a few examples?
On the board/flipchart write: Identity ≠ Expression ≠ Sex,” and “Gender ≠ Sexual Orientation.
Draw a line on the board, flipchart and mention that this line represents a continuum and that on this spectrum, people can identify themselves anywhere on this spectrum.
What we’d like to do now is take a moment to consider where we land on this spectrum. This is a self-reflection exercise you’ll work individually. This is for your own understanding and we won’t be collecting this nor will you be sharing anything with regards to this.
Give out the handout with the spectrums.
You can draw a dot on each continuum, several dots to indicate a range, or leave it blank — be as creative as you’d like, in any form that makes sense for you.
- In terms of gender identity, how much woman-ness do you identify with? How much man-ness? Maybe neither? Maybe both?
- In terms of gender expression, how much femininity and/or masculinity do you express? A lot of both? A lot of one and not a lot of the other? Maybe neither?
- In terms of sexual orientation towards what gender identity or identities) do you find yourself drawn to? How do you self-define your sexual orientation?

Facilitation questions for reflection and debriefing: (5 min)

What did you learn from this activity?
What did this activity help you understand in terms of the assumptions we may be making about other people?
Why would making assumptions about others be dangerous or hurtful?

What is the main message that you’re taking with you from this activity?

Take home messages and activity wrap up:

We are socialized to oversimplify sex, gender and sexual orientation by classifying people in boxes, often in binary categories. This may lead us to think that once we know one thing about someone, we can fill in the rest of their blanks. For example, if we learn someone is a woman, we have a picture in our mind of what that person looks like and who she’s attracted to. We might assume she expresses gender in feminine ways, was assigned female at birth and embodies female-ness, and is exclusively attracted to men. This image is simple, however, is not true or complicated enough for many, if not most, of us. Many of us exist in different degrees on the scales above, and may zig-zag through them in ways that break assumptions and norms.

Tips for facilitators:

When Genderbread goes really well, it hits hard for people — personally, and in their sense of the social implications of gender. This may result in some difficult reactions or difficult emotions to be expressed.

Reassure young people that these reactions are valid because this activity asks us to challenge what we have so far believed to be our ‘realities’ according to gender and sexual orientation. What we need to understand is that our realities differ. One person may be born male, identify as a man and express themselves in a masculine way and be attracted to women. However this may not be true for all people born male. There is great diversity in the way people identify and express their gender identity and sexual orientation. Also, another person’s identity should not and cannot be a threat to our own sense of identity. We need to be able to respect and be inclusive of all different identities and embrace the wonderful rainbow of gender and sexual diversity.

Adapting the activity for online implementation

● The activity is quite text intensive and there is a lot of information for participants to remember and work with.

● To further facilitate the flow of information to participants, you can start with a basic brainstorming to provide some ‘grounding’ theoretical and conceptual background first. You can work on each of the concepts of sex/sex characteristics, gender, gender identity, gender expression and sexual/romantic orientation one by one. You can capture the brainstorming on a digital board like the ‘Whiteboard’ in Zoom, or in Padlet, Slido, Mentimeter or the platform you feel most comfortable with. Alternatively , if it is easier for you, you can capture participants’ responses on a google doc or a PowerPoint slide on a shared screen.

● You can use the picture of the figurine on a PowerPoint slide as a visual to help clarify the concepts better.

● Once you have completed the brainstorming, you can split the participants in small groups using breakout rooms. Each breakout room is then allocated a different concept (i.e. Biological sex, gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation) to discuss. You can use the sample worksheets (see below) to help the groups have a more focused and in-depth discussion on the various concepts.

● Once the small groups complete their discussion, you can return in plenary. Each group presents their concept and what they discussed.

● You can further the discussion and the understanding of the different concepts by asking the following questions:

○ Now that you have explored the different concepts, do you think sex, gender identity and gender expression are the same thing? Can you explain why/why not?
○ How about gender and sexual orientation? Are they the same or not? Can you explain with a few examples?
○ On the board/flipchart write: Identity ≠ Expression ≠ Sex,” and “Gender ≠ Sexual Orientation.
○ Draw a line on the board, flipchart and mention that this line represents a continuum and that on this spectrum, people can identify themselves anywhere on this spectrum.

● Continue with the activity as proposed, by sending the spectrum worksheet through the chat and asking participants to work on it individually for a few minutes, mapping where they see themselves on the spectrum.

● Wrap up the discussion using the questions in the facilitation/reflection section of the activity and the key messages.