Reclaiming sexuality

Duration of activity: 60-90 minutes

Learning objectives:

Explore what is meant by the concept ‘sex positivity’
Understand the importance of personal agency, self-determination, consent and safety in having healthy, positive and pleasurable sexual encounters/relationships
Acknowledge that being sex positive is also about choice: whether we engage in it or not and a choice on how we’d like our sexual life to be
Identify the barriers to sexual agency

Materials needed:

Flipchart paper
Markers, coloured pencils, crayons
Handout of the quotes, a few copies for each group

Step by step process of the activity: 60 min

Start by a short introduction with regards the terms outlined above, presenting and discussing with the group what is meant by a sex positive approach, pleasure, personal agency, body positivity, self-determination, consent, sexual literacy, sexual competency and sexual agency. To highlight the importance of sexual agency also discuss the challenges young people face in its absence, i.e. when girls or people with disability pledge their sexual agency to their families , or when one pledges their sexual agency to their partner, overlooking their own wishes and needs (20-25 min).
Split the young people in 5 groups of 4-5 people each and give out the handout with the quotes on sex positivity in each group
Invite young people to read through the quotes and pick the two they mostly resonate with (the ones that ‘speak to them the most’).
Ask them to discuss these two quotes in their groups and prepare a short 2 min presentation which they will present in plenary. In their presentation, they need to outline the meaning of the quote and explain the key terms presented in it. For instance, in the first quote, the terms Self-determination, consent, safety, privacy, confidence need to be explained so that participants can understand their meaning. Similarly in quote 2, what does it mean for women to have no sexual agency inside their own culture, religion or family?(15 min)
While the groups are working on the task, go around the groups and help out or probe them further to help them understand the meaning of the quote.
Invite the groups to present their quotes in plenary. (20 min)

Part II -optional (helps consolidate the knowledge)
Once all groups have finished with their presentations, invite young people to draw the outline of a person on a flipchart paper
Ask them to imagine that this is a young person they know about and they will explore how this person can have a positive approach to their sexuality. On the inside of the outline, invite them to write some words or phrases that represent feelings, attitudes, actions and behaviours of how this young person can express sexual agency, have ownership of their body and build positive, safe and pleasurable sexual relations. (15 min)
Ask young people to put up their posters so the rest of the groups can go around and have a look (5 min)
You can wrap up the activity with the following discussion in plenary:

Facilitation questions for reflection and debriefing: (15-30 min)

How was this activity for you? Did anything make a particular impression on you?
Did anything surprise you?
How do you understand the concept of personal agency? And how do you understand the concept of self-determination when it comes to sex?
Do you think young people have enough personal agency in order to have a positive sexuality?
What barriers are young people experiencing in having a happy, safe, positive and pleasurable sexuality? How is their sense of personal agency restricted by culture, family, religion, society and violent patriarchy?
Summing up, based on the quotes you have read, what are they key aspects of having a sex positive approach to sexuality?
How can young people strive towards having sexual agency and developing happier, more fulfilling, safer, more positive and pleasurable sexuality?

Take home messages and activity wrap up:

You can use the theoretical part above to guide you through the key messages and the wrap up of this activity. In summary, to answer the question on the key aspects of a sex positive approach to sexuality, as presented in the quotes, you can mention the following:

having the freedom and capacity to make your own decisions and to act as you choose, define your sexuality by the choices that you make. This choice also includes whether you engage in sex or not and the choice on how we’d like your sexual life to be

having the right and ability to define and control your own sexuality, free from coercion and exploitation

encouraging sexual freedom, while at the same time being safe while doing so.

meaningful consent and consent as something that leads to pleasure

sexual confidence, sexual literacy, empowerment and competence.
Having the necessary information, knowing your rights, having a high self-esteem and communication skills, feeling empowered to make informed choices

linking sexuality and pleasure. Notion of sexuality as something natural that we all should all enjoy

overcoming fear, shame or taboo and challenging gender inequality

safe and consensual sexual activities, regardless of what the activity is. Each person’s preferences are regarded as their own personal choice, without judgment

control of the individual over their own body.

Tips for facilitators:

Talking about sexuality in an open manner and using words like pleasure, desire and agency may feel strange, awkward and perhaps embarrassing for young people. You can reflect on this fact in a general way, reflecting how much we still consider sexuality a taboo and instead of being driven by a sex positive approach when we talk about sexuality we’re driven by fear, judgement, limitation, taboo, social norms and criticism. Since sexuality is hardly talked about, awkward feelings and feelings of embarrassment are natural. And that is okay. By exploring this awkward space, we allow ourselves to create new perspectives which can help us build a sense of agency and empowerment which are vital in having a positive, happy and fulfilling sexuality. It is also possible that young people may focus primarily on normative values which might dominate the discussion. Try to open the space of the discussion and challenge these normative views, encouraging young people to think of alternative perspectives.

Adapting the activity for online implementation

● When implementing this activity online, it is important that you first provide some background information on the key aspects of sex positivity such as self-determination, consent, safety, privacy, confidence, agency, sexual literacy etc. This can be done on a PPT presentation in plenary followed by a discussion or more interactively by using brainstorming tools (Whiteboard, Quizziz, Mentimeter, Padlet, Slido etc.) . Alternatively, discussion on the key concepts can also take place in smaller groups (breakout rooms)

● Following the introductory part on the conceptual framework, you can then use breakout rooms and allocate a pre-selected quote to each group. Alternatively, you can work in plenary and present some of the quotes on PPT one by one, followed by a discussion.

● When young people will present their quotes and the discussion they had on them in plenary, you can put them up on a PPT slide, one by one, so they can be easily visible and readable by all.

● Before you go to next part of the activity, give some time for self-reflection- participants can write a letter to themselves reflecting on how the quote they have read fits with their own lives and contemplate how they can reclaim their own sexuality.

● The second part of the activity involves drawing the outline of a person, aiming to provide the space to discuss feelings, attitudes, actions and behaviours related to how young people can express sexual agency and build positive, safe and pleasurable sexual relationships. This can be implemented either by the facilitator presenting the outline in plenary and filling it in with participants’ responses or by asking the participants themselves to complete their outlines individually and then presents them in plenary (2^nd option could be more fun if it is feasible).