Challenging the norms – Aliens visiting earth

Methodology inspired and adapted from the Norm criticism toolkit. IGLYO (2015)

Duration of activity: 60 -80 minutes

15 minutes for group work
15 minutes of presentations by the groups
30 minutes facilitation
20 minutes videos and discussion (optional)

Learning objectives:

Raise awareness about norms related to gender, gender identity and sexual orientation
Explore where our perceptions from these norms come from
Express personal values towards norms
To explore consequences of breaking the norms

Materials needed:

Flipchart papers and stand, markers, whiteboard (if available)

Recommended prior reading

Step by step process of the activity:Duration of activity: 30 minutes

Introduction: The theme of our workshop is to present how humans relate on Earth to a group of aliens/extra-terrestrial visitors. This group of extra-terrestrial visitors came to visit Earth as a part of a peaceful expedition. They don’t know much about life on Earth, but are very curious. They have never seen humans, they don’t know what they look like, how they behave, relate, etc. So it will be our job to try to explain all this to our visitors
Divide young people into groups and each group will have a specific topic to discuss. The groups can be divided in a fun ‘energizer’ way, such as ‘the sun shines on….’ (5 minutes)
Each group receives the topic that they will discuss and chooses a ‘spokesperson’ (who will present the work of the group in plenary) and a time-keeper. Explain to the groups that their aim is to develop a list of ‘norms’ about the specific topic they will receive. Remind them again that they need to be clear and specific, because they are describing these topics to the aliens, who have no idea about them and need to understand them. To help the groups develop their list of norms, you can prompt them to explore the following questions:
- What does society consider ‘normal’ or the ‘norm’ about your topic? For instance what is the norm regarding gender? How are boys/men/girls/women supposed to look like? What is the norm about sex characteristics? How are they supposed to behave? What gendered characteristics and roles are acceptable by society?
- How does society expect people to express their gender? Or if your topic is sexual orientation, what is the norm regarding sexual orientation and how does society expect people to express their sexual orientation? How are they supposed to act? What is the acceptable behaviour?
- What is considered to be ‘out of the norm’?
The groups have 10 minutes to brainstorm and make a list of norms on the specific topic they received. Each group will write their ideas on a flipchart paper, so they can be easily presented in plenary. Each group will have around 3 minutes to present in plenary.
Topics for which norms can be developed:
- Sex characteristics
- Gender
- Gender identity and expression
- Sexual orientation
- Relationships

Facilitation questions for reflection and debriefing: (30 minutes)

How did you feel while listing norms related to the topic you received: was it easy or difficult? Why?
Where do we learn these gender norms? When do we begin learning them? Who teaches us these norms? (parents, school, peers, religion, media, culture etc.….)
Let’s draw some boxes around each of these norms. Considering the box that encircles all the qualities you have mentioned, what does this box represent?
What do you think of these boxes? How do these boxes make you feel?
What is the benefit/incentive people have to fulfil these norms? (they are accepted, considered attractive, belong in a group, have privileges etc.)
- Create a list of benefits/incentives/privileges
How easy is it for people to stay ‘in the boxes’? Are there people who are not in these boxes and they don’t fulfil societal expectations about gender? For instance are all girls and boys behaving this way? And what’s more, do all people identify as boy/girl?
And are all people heterosexual? Are there people with diverse sexual orientations? Are these people behaving within the ‘norm’ of sexual orientation?
What if a person acts in a way that is outside these boxes? What happens to them? How are they treated by their families, peers and the community if they look or behave differently than what is ‘expected of them’?
How do gender stereotypes affect the way we treat LGBTIQ+ people?
We’d now like to explore what happens if someone cannot fulfil social expectations or breaks these norms further.
- Give young people post-it notes and ask them to write how society would treat people who are outside the ‘norm’ and also think of what these people normally experience.
- Ask them to bring their post its on the whiteboard and read out what the young people mentioned
- Create a list of the hurtful behaviours. Explain that these behaviours constitute gender-based violence and are very harmful for other people
Comparing the two lists, the one of the incentives and the one with the harmful behaviours can you see a system of ‘rewards’ and ‘punishments’ in place? What privileges do you think people who conform to gender roles have over people who may not conform?
How does this system of rewards and punishments affect the choices we make? How does this system affect whether we can reach our full potential?
What can we do to change this? How can we change things so people can express freely who they are without experiencing harmful behaviours?

Take home messages and activity wrap up^[1]:

Norms are not set in stone but are shaped by society. Traditions, popular culture, the media, peers, family and the community (including schools) all play a role in shaping and reinforcing these norms. What is important is because norms are social constructs, they can change. Young people have the power to accept or reject them.

Norms and stereotypes create a damaging division between boys and girls, people of diverse gender identities, sex characteristics and sexual orientations. Children, young people and adults alike experience pressure to conform to societal expectations and social norms. Depending on how much they conform, they may be rewarded or punished. People who conform to the norms enjoy more respect, popularity, influence, more opportunities, privileges, freedom from abuse etc. On the contrary, people who may not conform often experience bulling, isolation, mocking, rumours, discrimination, name calling, physical violence etc.

Staying the boxes is confining, limiting and rips people off the chance to fully express themselves, explore a wide range of options and have the opportunity to reach their outmost potential. We are all unique and complex individuals who do not ft into boxes. Everyone has the right to be valued and respected for who they are and we have the responsibility to value and respect others. Towards this end, it is important that we challenge the norms and take a stand against any forms of sexism, homophobia/biphobia/transphobia/interphobia and any discriminatory/degrading behaviours which are hurting people.

You can demonstrate the link between how norms about differences give rise to stereotypes, prejudice, discrimination and oppression using the following cycle.
The difference between discrimination and oppression lies in the fact that discrimination is often a personal act of exclusion and unfair denial of access to and control of resources because of that person’s identity (i.e. a boss not hiring a trans person because of their identity) while oppression refers to discrimination at an institutional or societal level (discriminatory laws, lack of access to justice, institutional violence etc.)

Tips for facilitators:

It is possible that when young people are thinking about the gender ‘box’ or the box of ‘gender identity/expression’ that they mention that gay men express themselves in a more feminine way and lesbians in a more masculine way. It is important to explain that people all along the LGBTIQ+ spectrum express their gender differently and in all sorts of ways; for instance there are gay men who often act masculine and lesbians who often act feminine and others who express themselves totally different. Dispel the myth that gay men have to act outside the boy gender box and all lesbians to act outside the girl gender box. Moreover, even though as concepts gender expression and sexual orientation are often thought to be the same thing, however they represent two different parts of the identity of a person, a man who express himself as more ‘effeminate’ (as per the stereotypical understanding of effeminate) can be heterosexual, bisexual , gay or anywhere on the spectrum of sexual orientation. The same holds true for women with a more ‘masculine’ gender expression, nonbinary persons, trans persons, queer etc.

Adapting the activity for online implementation

● Discussion on norms can happen in breakout rooms. Each group (‘breakout room’) is allocated a specific topic (for instance Sex characteristics, Gender, Gender identity and expression, Sexual orientation, Relationships).

● Participants brainstorm in their small groups about the specific social ‘norm’ and then discuss in plenary.

● Once in plenary, you can use the facilitation questions to guide the discussion

● The part of the activity that refers to brainstorming about the social exclusion of people who do not fit the norms, can be done through online tools and platforms such as the Whiteboard (in Zoom, Teams, WebEx) or Quizziz, Padlet, Mentimeter, Slido etc. Alternatively, if you don’t want to use a brainstorming tool,  you can guide this discussion in plenary by asking questions to the whole group.

● Lastly follow with a short discussion in plenary, using some of the reflection questions and making the link between rigid norms and oppression. To further stimulate this discussion in plenary, you can use  videos or images on stereotypes and gender/body norms (some are listed in activity 8.3 Media Literacy) .

● Close the activity by showing the flowchart on how rigid perceptions on norms can lead to violence on PPT.

^[1] Adapted from the activity ‘Gender in a Box’ , manual ‘Youth 4 Youth’.