Continue the story

Methodology inspired and adapted from the activity ‘Relationship Violence Stories’ from the manual GEAR against IPV”. Booklet III: Teacher’s Manual. (Rev. ed.). Athens: European Anti-Violence Network

Duration of activity: 50-60-90 min (depending on the number of stories enacted and whether you will do both parts I and part II)

Learning objectives:

Help young people:

better understand relationship violence, how it is manifested and what causes it
understand the definition of power, power hierarchies, and the fact that abuse of power is an option
understand that violence is systematic abuse and not an isolated incidence
discuss how intimate partner violence can be manifested differently across different groups (LGBTIQ+, sex workers, people with disability etc.)
explore the consequences of abuse and build empathy for people who experience
itidentify the obstacles that often make it difficult for people to take action against relationship violence
explore what young people can do to protect themselves from intimate partner violence

Materials needed:

Scenarios for enactment for each group
Flipchart paper , flipchart stand and markers

Recommended prior reading:

Step by step process of the activity:

PART 1 (50-60 min depending on number of improvisations)

Introduction: In this activity we will explore intimate partner violence and it is different manifestations.
Divide the plenary into 4 smaller groups. Depending on your time availability, you can use more scenarios and you can have more than 4 smaller groups.
After dividing into groups, each group will choose a story/scenario, which they will present to us as a role play.
Each group needs to decide who is going to play each role and what the characters will do. Invite the groups to feel free to improvise based on the information provided in the scenario.
Also explain that the stories are unfinished… each group needs to decide the ending they want for the story and act it out.
During the acting of the plays, if the audience, is not satisfied with the ending, they can recommend an alternative ending that they feel is more preferable and can you to enact this new ending.
The groups have 20 minutes to prepare for their role plays and then each group will present its improvisation (15-20 minutes)
As the groups are working on their improvisations, go around the groups and help out, prompt the group with questions to provide food for thought or just observe what is going on
After each play hold a quick discussion on what happened using the questions listed underneath each scenario (Worksheet 11.4 for facilitators) exploring the dynamics of the violence, how the people experiencing the violence are feeling and what may hold them back from taking action against this abusive situation. (15-20 min)
If some of the improvisations have resulted in the person experiencing the violence standing up to the abuser or taking steps to protect themselves, further explore the recommendations provided by young people and discuss how effective they could be.

PART II – 35 min
Introduction: We have now explored how relationship violence is manifested and how it impacts young people who experience it. In some of the stories we have also witnessed that it is often difficult for the people who experience the violence to take action to protect themselves because of fear, intimidation, helplessness, confusion, lack of support system, love of the abuser etc. Now it is important to also explore how young people can overcome these obstacles and find ways in which they can protect themselves. Going back to your groups, please consider a different ending, one that shows some possible options that the person who experiences the violence has towards protecting themselves. What can they do? How can other people help? Have a talk in your groups and then prepare a different ending to your story. You will then enact this ending in plenary. Each new improvisation to be around 1-2 min long
Invite the groups to start working on the new task at hand and go around to have a talk with the smaller groups or support them as necessary.
The groups have 10 min to think of an alternative ending.
Once the groups are ready, the enact the new ending in plenary (10 min)
After each improvisation ask the plenary to comment on what they think of this ending.
Wrap up the activity with the debriefing questions below
You can give out handout ‘My rights in a relationship’ to participants before they leave the room.

Facilitation questions for reflection and debriefing: (15 min)

Having seen the different ways young people can react to relationship violence as presented in the role plays, how feasible do you think it would be for people in real life to act this way? What would be easy?
What would be difficult and may hold them back?
How can young people be empowered to react to relationship violence and protect themselves? (Write these answers on a flipchart)
What can young people do to respond to intimate partner violence and protect themselves? What are some feasible options?

Take home messages and activity wrap up:

All the examples we enacted depicted the different manifestations of intimate partner violence.

Josh’s story: Possessiveness, restricting what a partner can do and where to go (offline and online), stalking (following someone around, cyberstalking, tracking someone’s phone), showing up uninvited (no, this is not flattering, it is abusive behaviour), violating the right to privacy (Instagram passwords, showing up uninvited, stalking), threats, belittlement, ultimatums that the partner will leave and physical violence.

Miguel and Paul: forcing physical intimacy, possessiveness, demanding to know where your partner is or what they are up to, extreme jealousy are all signs of control which constitute serious warning signs that the relationship may turn violent.

Anais.  Anais experiences different types of violence including being taking advantage of, extortion (her partner gets money off her), physical abuse (being forced to get drunk/high, shoving, pushing, pinning against the wall), sexual violence (forced to have sex, deliberately denying the use of protection/condoms thus exposing her to risks for STIs), psychological abuse (name calling, degrading her for her gender identity, threats, intimidation). Notably, Anais experiences multiple vulnerabilities to abuse because of her gender (woman), her gender identity (trans) and her work (sex work). These multiple characteristics increase her vulnerability to violence because she experiences multiple discriminations all at once (sexism, transphobia, sexual violence because of her sex work). This is called intersectionality. The more intersections a person experiences the more likely it is to experience less avenues to protection and safety from SGBV, as exit strategies or access to services, justice and redress may be compromised in lieu of social stigma, discrimination, isolation, marginalization, retribution and even persecution on account of certain identities.  Anais, for instance, being trans and a sex worker places her at a significantly vulnerable position, as it will be more difficult to have access to services and police protection.

Petra and Jana: Most acts of violence have already been discussed in previous scenarios. Additional manifestations that didn’t appear in previous scenarios include: threats to ‘out’ the partner as  a means of control and intimidation, derogatory comments on body image/appearance, physical abuse in the form of throwing objects, ignoring the partner’s needs/wishes, blaming the partner for the violence as a means of control (as this takes a further toll on self-esteem)

Clementina and Django: possessiveness, control, limiting freedoms, use of violence on others to give a ‘message’ to the partner that this could happen to them too.

Ismi: Even though ‘body-shaming’  and ‘fat shaming’ has started becoming a ‘normalized’ practice, especially in social media, it has an extremely  negative impact on a person’s self-esteem and overall outlook on sexual relationships (see section on body positivity and sex positivity). Besides body shaming, Ismi’s partner engages in threats against her, restriction of her freedom, ultimatums and manipulation.

Catarina and George: This is a case of domestic violence. George assets his ‘male privilege’ and male dominance in the household. Even though norms about gender roles may cause young people to bypass George’s demands of Catarina to stay home and take care of her family, in reality Catarina is forced to conform to traditional gender roles which is a form of intimate partner violence because her freedom (of being, of choice, of movement etc.) is restricted. She also  starts being very careful around George, always trying to please him, out of fear that he may become violent if she doesn’t. Catarina also experiences psychological violence (screamed at, being blamed, guilt-trips etc.), verbal violence (called useless) and physical violence. Catarina projects the violence she experiences on to her son who is both a direct and indirect recipient of the abuse.

While we acknowledge that it is difficult for a person in an abusive situation, especially within in a relationship, to go back to safety, the only way to break the cycle of violence is by taking action against it. Young people need to break this cycle and break their isolation by taking to others and reaching out. By sharing what is going on with a friend, a trusted person, a professional, an online support centre etc. they can feel that they are not alone and most importantly they can explore their options.

Tips for facilitators:

Sometimes it is hard for young people to identify certain behaviours as intimate partner violence because these behaviours have been normalized. For instance young people may not consider it an issue to disclose their password to their social media account, especially in the event that both partners do so. Or they may not consider certain online behaviours as toxic, as for instance constantly checking up on your partner, tracking their phone, showing up uninvited, or even cyberstalking. Prompt specifically for the behaviours the young people have difficulty recognizing, often playing ‘devil’s advocate’ to challenge their attitudes. For instance, ‘what do you think? When Josh’s partner showed up at Josh’s university, wasn’t this a sign of interest and caring?’. All abusive behaviours in the scenarios are listed in the ‘take home message’ section above and you can use this as a guide for which statements you need to focus more during the discussion, so as you can help young people expand their awareness on the different manifestations of IPV.

During the enactment of the ending of the stories, it is possible that young people may enact even more violent incidences when they try to suggest an ending for the stories. This is possible of course and you can reflect on the fact that violence keeps escalating if abusive behaviours are not challenged and no action is taken to stop the violence. Don’t leave the young people with a negative note. Make sure that, even if you don’t have time to do part II as it is, that you explore some options about how young people can break the cycle of abuse and reach out to others for support.

Tips for adapting the activity and follow up:

You can adapt the activity in many ways. If you think that theatrical improvisations may be too much for the group of young people, you can give out the stories as handouts, asking the groups to discuss what is going on in the story and think about what could happen next. You can also include some of the questions written under each story in the facilitators’ worksheet, so that the small groups could have a more guided discussion. You may also decide to give out the scenarios and go straight into part II, discussing what the people experiencing the violence in each scenario could do in order to protect themselves.

Another option, especially if you have already been using case studies in other activities and you would like a change of methodology, would be to use the following videos to instigate a discussion on relationship violence, its manifestations, its impact on the people experiencing it and what be done to address it by the people involved. Remember to include ‘content warnings’ prior to showing the videos so as participants can be prepared beforehand and pace themselves if they need to. Also remind participants of the possible exit strategies (switching off their screen and mic and taking a 10-minute break or not returning to the session all together, state your availability contacting you or the co-facilitator via a private message during the session or right after the session, mentioning that you will be checking in on them etc). A possible way to deliver a content warning is by saying something along the lines of: ‘Much of what we will watch in the videos can be emotionally challenging to engage with. Some videos present some graphic content of violence which could be considered as intense for some people. Following our group agreement in the beginning of the workshop, we have tried to make this a safe space where we can engage bravely, empathetically, thoughtfully and respectfully with sensitive content. I’m reminding everyone of their right to ‘pass’ if they feel that the material may be too challenging to work with. Feel free to take a break and leave the session for some time if you need to take care of yourselves. I also invite you to maintain confidentiality and to avoid judgement of any feelings or reactions that may arise during the discussion of the videos. I and the cofacilitators will be here to further discuss any aspects of the videos right after the workshop, if anyone of you feels the need to discuss them further.’

Know the signshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aH-Rxme1RU

Dominic Copelandhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3hJWmsFUI0

Fuzzy on the Detailshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aA_srM0-tE

Abuse in Relationships: Would you Stop Yourself?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzDr18UYO18

Sam & Alice – teenage relationship abuse adverthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeVelhH-aIU

This Is Abuse – Phonehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehXYH6wmmDo

Toxic people: how to end up a bad relationshiphttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPwck0EQkgs

Adapting the activity for online implementation

Part 1- Scenarios

o When adapting this activity for online implementation, you can use breakout rooms and allocate a different scenario to each small group. Once the groups discuss their scenarios, they come back to plenary for an all-encompassing discussion on all scenarios.

o Alternatively, you can turn the scenarios into an online quiz. When you’re setting up the quiz, please remember to pre-program enough time to allow participants to read the scenario properly and take in the required information.
Some of the questions to be discussed about the scenarios are open ended (for instance ‘How is Django being abusive towards Clementina?’). When using an online quiz you can opt to present with these questions in different ways: you can either set up an open-ended question in the quiz or give the participants the opportunity to brainstorm on an online board (Whiteboard, Padlet etc.). Alternatively, you can turn the open-ended questions into closed-ended, with different options to be provided as possible answers. For instance  you can rephrase the above-mentioned question to “How is Django being abusive?” and follow it up with different possible answers such as (a) by putting his arm around Clementina to show she’s his girlfriend (b) by being possessive (c) by being jealous (d) by swearing at and pushing the other guy (e ) by being aggressive (f ) all of the above (g) something else. You can also program the quiz so multiple answers are accepted, in order for participants to be able to pick the 3-4 options that feel best fit the correct answer for them.
Remember to also hold a discussion in plenary after the quiz has ended, using the reflection questions provided.

Part 2: Role Play

o You can introduce the option of completing the story by using an improvisation (role play) after the groups have had a chance to complete their discussions in small groups (breakout rooms) and you already had a discussion in plenary about the different scenarios. This can help participants feel more ready to role play as their feeling of trust in the group would be heightened due to their increased interaction.

o If the participants are positive to enact the role plays, you can again break them in the same groups they were before, and give them some time to discuss a possible ending to their scenario.
Invite the groups one by one to enact their improvisation and invite the plenary to discuss different proposed endings to the story according to what they think would be more effective in addressing the SGBV in the scenario  (an adaptation of forum theatre)
Wrap up the discussion using the key messages (see relevant section above).

o If the group is not positive to go ahead with the role play, you can ask participants to individually think of possible endings to the story and then present them in plenary.  You can then wrap the discussion, using the key messages. Since in the key messages you’ll also be discussing the dynamics of intervention (i.e. ambivalence whether to intervene or not, difficulties surrounding interventions, characteristics of successful interventions etc.) you can use an online quiz (in the form of a poll) to capture these perceptions. This can also bring back the energy in the room.