Exploring and reclaiming sexuality in the digital world.

Duration of activity: 45 min

Learning objectives:

Understand how a person can reclaim their sexuality in the digital world through consent and agency
Explore how the internet and cyberspace can enhance a sex positive approach to sexuality
Identify how consent, desire and agency help establish positive, pleasurable and safe sexual/romantic connections online

Materials needed:

Handout of the excerpt of the interview of Richa Kaul Padte for all groups
Flipchart, flipchart paper and markers

Recommended prior reading:

Step by step process of the activity:

Ask young people to form ‘buzz groups’/triads with the people sitting next to them
Explain that you will give out an excerpt of an interview which discusses how the internet can provide new opportunities for pleasurable sexual/romantic connections which help break sexual taboo. Everyone will receive the same handout.
The triads have about 20 min to discuss the scenarios and to answer the questions underneath.
As young people are working on the task, go around and help out, prompting them with questions in order to provide food for thought or just observe what is going on.
Once the small groups complete their discussion, go back to plenary and open up the discussion for everyone.

Facilitation questions for reflection and debriefing:

What type of possibilities for sexually/romantically connecting with others does the internet offer, especially for women and groups whose sexuality has been marginalized? (besides sexting, encourage young people to think of online forums they can connect to or online communities they can become members of and receive support etc.)
What positive aspects can the internet have in terms of exploring one’s sexuality? (reclaiming sexuality for groups who have been marginalized, freedom of expression, information as power, exploration, breaking sexual taboo, exploring intimacy, building connections to others etc.).
What does personal agency or having a sense of agency mean? How does agency relate to a sex positive approach to sexuality? How does agency help develop positive and pleasurable sexual/romantic connections online?
Why are all these concepts (agency, pleasure, sex positive) important in the way we explore and express our sexuality?
According to the interview, does the internet enhance sexual violence or not?
The author recognizes that we need to remain grounded in the realities of young people today (“We are online. We are watching porn. We are expressing our bodies, our desires and our sexualities on the internet”) and we can’t ask young people to shy away from it. At the same time, how can we ensure that we have safe and pleasurable sexual/romantic online? What, according to the author, needs to lie at the hearts of this conversation?
Having read the above excerpt, what is your personal opinion? Is cyberspace encouraging positive aspects of sexuality or negatives ones?

Take home messages and activity wrap up:

The cyberspace has opened up an infinite world of possibilities for young people to explore their sexuality, build connection and intimacy with others. On one hand, the internet provides the space and the freedom of exploration and action to young people and especially to women and groups with a range of sexualities that have been stigmatized or marginalized over the years. Having the freedom to explore one’s sexuality, not only builds a healthy and positive approach on how people can express themselves sexually but it is also pleasurable and empowering. On the other hand, online sexual/romantic connections carry a risk for harmful experiences such as abuse, harassment and exploitation, same as offline relationships. This however does not alter the reality that young people live in a digital world, are online, will make sexual or romantic connections online and some of them need and enjoy the vast possibilities that the online world has to offer in exploring their sexuality. Young people can thus learn how to have safe, healthy and pleasurable sexual/romantic connections online. Free and informed consent, information as power, empowerment and agency are crucial in having safe, healthy and pleasurable sexual/romantic connections online. (Agency an all-encompassing term that describes the power an individual has over their own body, mind and environment. It also refers to the sense of control they have over some specific action, being conscious of what they like and enjoy and going after it).

Tips for facilitators:

Talking about sexuality in an open manner and using words like pleasure, desire and agency may feel strange, awkward and perhaps embarrassing for young people. You can reflect on this fact in a general way, reflecting how much we still consider sexuality a taboo and instead of being driven by a sex positive approach when we talk about sexuality we’re driven by fear, judgement, limitation, criticism. It is natural when sexuality is hardly talked about when we open up the space for a more free and open discussion to feel awkward and embarrassing. And that is okay. Validate that by exploring this awkward space, we allow ourselves to create new perspectives which can help us build a sense of agency and empowerment which are vital in having a positive, happy and fulfilling sexuality.

The discussion of this interview will make a lot more sense and be easier if you already had a chance to work on issues of sex positivity with the group (i.e. if some activities of the section 9.2 have already preceded this activity, so that young people had a chance to process some concepts and their own feelings and attitudes in relation to them).

Tips for adapting the activity and follow up:

Decide whether you will discuss this interview with teenagers, especially in a school setting. Some schools may find it provocative so it will depend on the relationship you have with the school and your target group. It could be worth exploring implementing this activity outside the school environment where you’ll have the freedom to conduct it without censorship.

Adapting the activity for online implementation

● The activity is easily adaptable online by substituting face to face small groups with breakout rooms. You can then use the facilitation questions to guide a reflection and discussion in plenary.

● If the option of smaller groups/breakout rooms is not feasible, you can work in plenary, however breaking down the interview in shorter excerpts so it will be easier for participants to read through.

● You can start with presenting the first excerpt from the interview on shared screen and discuss it with participants using questions from the ‘facilitation questions for reflection and debriefing’, followed by the second excerpt and so on.

● You can wrap up the discussion using the key messages.