● 9.1. Theoretical background[1]
A sex positive approach to sexuality
People experience their sexuality in a very personal, unique and diverse manner. Sexuality entails one’s own sense of awareness, experience and expression of sexual orientation and gender identity, eroticism, attraction, sexual pleasure and intimacy, among others. Expressing and experiencing our sexualities goes beyond the physical boundaries of satisfaction and is very much related to freedom of sexual expression.
We are still living in a world where sexuality essentially remains taboo and is largely, and destructively, controlled. Young people are deprived of substantial information and skills that will empower them to express their sexuality in a positive and healthy manner.
Sexualities outside the spectrum of heteronormativity (heterosexual, faithful, monogamous, long-lasting, non-experimental, primarily used for reproduction) are also considered ‘abnormal’, ‘perverted’ and shameful. Towards this end, there is little understanding, respect and acceptance of LGBTIQ+ sexualities. Homophobia, biphobia, transphobia and interphobia, hate speech and hate crimes create a very negative space where a diverse spectrum of sexualities cannot exist, let alone thrive and develop. LGBTIQ+ persons are often forced to hide their sexual orientation or gender identity out of fear of being abused, discriminated against, bullied or even killed. Even more so, the sexualities of the more ‘invisible’ groups such as intersex, queer/questioning, asexual and trans are significantly marginalized, resulting in high incidences of sexual abuse against these groups.
A sex positive approach to sexuality connotes a need for every individual to reclaim their sexuality. A sex positive approach connotes that people connect to their bodies and erotic selves and reclaim their personal narrative about sex. A sex positive approach brings to the table important concepts such as enjoyment and pleasure; empowerment and agency; sexual literacy; confidence; meaningful consent; body positivity and self-determination.
Pleasure: Pleasure is what makes us feel good and increases our sense of well-being and feelings of enjoyment. Pleasure is pursued, experienced, understood, negotiated and expressed in many different ways such as fantasies, ideas, thoughts and actions. Pleasure goes beyond physical satisfaction and includes ownership of your own body, exploration, experimentation, desire and freedom of expression. For any encounter to be pleasurable, consent and safety are necessary pre-requisites.
Self-determination: having the freedom and capacity to make your own decisions; to act as you choose and to determine own sexuality.
Consent is a free, uncoerced, conscious, informed, voluntary agreement to engage in any type of sexual activity. Consent must be clearly expressed, be provided freely and it can be withdrawn at any time; any person can change their mind whether they want to engage in a certain sexual activity or not.
Sexual confidence[2]: Sexual confidence is largely linked to self-esteem and has to do with recognizing your self-worth and the fact that you can bring something positive to a sexual encounter. It also suggests that you have the power to claim your sexual desires, communicate about what gives you pleasure and negotiate your sexual relations. It also connotes that you do not tolerate any unhealthy or unpleasurable behaviours and assertively try to protect yourself. Sexual confidence is reinforced by information, knowledge and skills. It is supported by positive thinking and the ability to talk to other people about sexuality in a context free from stigma and shame.
Sexual literacy[3] is about knowledge as power. Sexual literacy means that a person has all the necessary information to understand their bodies and sexualities, has information regarding the range of options in which sexuality can be explored and/or expressed, has knowledge and skills how to protect oneself and others (e.g. using safer sex practices, modern forms of contraception if applicable), understands what it means to have pleasurable sex (if applicable) and knows how to build positive, healthy and safe sexual relations (if sexual relations are desirable). Sexual literacy also involves an analysis of how factors such as gender, race, disability, culture, religion or belief and age intersect with and shape a person’s sexual beliefs and ultimately their expression of their sexuality. In many ways, sexual literacy reinforces sexual confidence and acts as a driving force in young people taking charge and owning their sexuality.
Sexual competence:[4] refers to having the ability, skills or knowledge to engage in sexual activity in a way that both the activity and outcomes are positive. Sexual competence also relates to the emotional sense of having enjoyed the experience through deriving pleasure and experiencing nothing unpleasant, coercive, unhealthy or abusive.
Sexual Agency refers to[5]:
- Having the freedom and capacity to make your own decisions and to act as you choose, defining your sexuality by the choices that you make.
- Understanding that engaging in sexual encounters or not, is a personal choice and freely claiming that choice for yourself
- The ability to give free, clear, informed and meaningful consent to participating in or declining a sexual activity and having your desires honoured.
- The right to self- defining your sexual orientation, gender identity and sexual identity in the way you understand it and experience it
- Choosing how, when, with whom and where you’d like to explore, experiment with and experience your sexuality; understanding how to negotiate this within yourself and with partners
- Linking sexuality and pleasure; believing in your own power and having the ability to act on behalf of your own sexual needs, desires, and wishes. Making sexual choices driven by what you consider pleasurable and enjoyable.
- Having the capacity to make informed choices, free of coercion, based on your own personal beliefs and values (and not those of others)
- Encouraging sexual freedom, while at the same time being safe while doing so
Body positivity
We are constantly being bombarded with images (in advertising, social media, the internet, traditional media etc.) which depict how we need to look like: young, white, thin, and conform to current beauty standards in society. Moreover, embracing the binary model of gender, there are clear ‘guidelines’ of how men and women should look like, portraying a very specific underlining: to have a different body, size, physical traits and appearance than the ‘norm’ is unattractive and undesirable. Suddenly our body becomes a battleground, and we spend humongous efforts to make it look ‘right’, instead of embracing that all bodies are different and that being healthy and beautiful comes in different forms.
Body positivity challenges unrealistic beauty standards and racist, binary gender norms while encouraging persons with ‘marginalized’ bodies (e.g. big, heavy, disabled, queer, trans, bodies of colour, and more) to build self-confidence, self-worth, self-love and self-acceptance.
Norms about the body and body-shaming (of queer, nonbinary, trans, heavier persons, the disabled etc.) have serious psychological effects[6] and cause depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-harming behaviours, substance abuse and relationship violence. On the contrary, building a positive relationship with our bodies , we are healthier, happier, more confident, empowered, self-accepting; we can also embrace our identity and give ourselves the freedom to be ourselves, recognize our self-worth and build healthy and safe relationships with others.
● 9.2. Non-formal education activities on Sex Positivity
● 9.3. Links to additional resources and information
IPPF (2011). Keys to youth-friendly services: Adopting a sex positive approach. London, UK: International Planned Parenthood Federation
IPPF (2016). Putting sexuality back into Comprehensive Sexuality Education: asking the case for a rights-based, sex-positive approach. London, UK: International Planned Parenthood Federation. https://www.ippf.org/sites/default/files/2016-10/Putting%20Sexuality%20back%20into%20Comprehensive%20Sexuality%20Education_0.pdf
Sexual Pleasure :The Forgotten Link in Sexual And Reproductive Health and Rights- Training Toolkit (2018). Global Advisory Board (GAB) for Sexual Health and Wellbeing. https://www.gab-shw.org/resources/training-toolkit/
The Pleasure Project (2006). Promoting protection and pleasure: amplifying the effectiveness of barriers against sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy. The Lancet, 368: 9551, pp 2028 – 2031
- Source: ‘Sexual Pleasure: the forgotten link between sexual and reproductive health and rights’ . Global Advisory Board for Sexual Health and Wellbeing, downloadable at www.gab-shw.org
- Source: ‘Putting sexuality back into Comprehensive Sexuality Education: asking the case for a rights-based, sex-positive approach’. IPPF (2016). Downloadable at: https://www.ippf.org/sites/default/files/2016-10/Putting%20Sexuality%20back%20into%20Comprehensive%20Sexuality%20Education_0.pdf
- Source: The Kinsey Institute (2009) ‘Kinsey Confidential: Sexual Literacy…What is that?’ http://kinseyconfdential.org/sexual-literacy
- Hirst, J (2008) ‘Developing sexual competence? Exploring strategies for the provision of effective sexualities and relationships education’ downloadable at: shorturl.at/rstvO
- Pamela Madsen: On being female and sexual agency, published in Psychology Today, June 2014. https://www.psychologytoday.com
- https://www.thebodypositive.org
